You have to watch your mouth when you're around your kids. If you say something that you're not supposed to, they will pick up on it and they will repeat it. This is easier for some more than others. Personally, when my husband and I were married without children, our house was sometimes like an Orbit gum commercial, without the cutesy dubs. In other words, it's hard for us.
Like at dinner tonight. Ben mentioned that he moved all of the "crap" off the table so that we could eat dinner. (That's pretty PG, but we're in a G house). He immediately realized his mistake and apologized, but it was too late.
Crap is grown up word?
Yes.
How about for little kids?
Nope.
How about for school agers?
No. Just grown ups.
I can't wait till I get older so I can say "crap."
And "fart."
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
He's No Carny
Ben, the husband, wanted me to post this story. It happened about a year ago. We were at the playground.
Nowadays, mothers have taken on a broader range of ages. I, for example, and 38 years old. I have two children under five. Some women are grandmothers by this age. Some are mothers of newborns at 40.
Anyway, we were all at the local playground. William's goal, each time we go to a play area (be it the Chick Fil-A play area or the aforementioned local play area), is to find a new "best friend." Names are optional. So, he encounters one such best friend and his possibly late thirties, early forties mother. And in typical kid fashion asks her, "What's your grandson's name?" Thankfully, I was minding the wee baby and Ben (the husband) was minding the precocious three year old.
So, no career as an age and weight guesser.
Nowadays, mothers have taken on a broader range of ages. I, for example, and 38 years old. I have two children under five. Some women are grandmothers by this age. Some are mothers of newborns at 40.
Anyway, we were all at the local playground. William's goal, each time we go to a play area (be it the Chick Fil-A play area or the aforementioned local play area), is to find a new "best friend." Names are optional. So, he encounters one such best friend and his possibly late thirties, early forties mother. And in typical kid fashion asks her, "What's your grandson's name?" Thankfully, I was minding the wee baby and Ben (the husband) was minding the precocious three year old.
So, no career as an age and weight guesser.
Liam Knows Best
William is at that stage where he is trying out inappropriate words and phrases just to see what he can get away with. He's obsessed with "stupid and shut up" as in "Mom, I can't say stupid and shut up because those are ugly words. Right, Mom? Right?" Except he's asking the question just so that he can say those words in a way that won't get him into trouble. So, he's either going to be a future ad exec (see previous posts) or a politician.
We've moved on to potty words most recently. Poop. Fart. And diarrhea (thanks pre-school friends!) I try not to make a big deal out of every little thing, because any parent knows that making a big deal out of something very often reinforces the behavior that we're trying to curb.
So, while we were putting on shoes and getting ready to go to school, William pipes up
Sometimes, when we are playing the "girlfriends game" (that will have to be explained in another post) I tell the girls to back off! (Pause) But, Liam said that's a ugly word. Is back off a ugly word?
Well, I don't know if I would call it an ugly word, but it's not very polite.
(I mean, between that and the potty words and the "stupid" and "shut up," I'll take "back off." And, sometimes those girls do need to back off. Word).
But, Liam says it is a ugly word.
Who are you going to believe? Liam, or your mom?
I am going to believe Liam because he's my friend and he works at my school. (As do all of his classmates).
Well, there you have it. But, I think I'm going to have to side with Liam on this one, now that I think about it.
We've moved on to potty words most recently. Poop. Fart. And diarrhea (thanks pre-school friends!) I try not to make a big deal out of every little thing, because any parent knows that making a big deal out of something very often reinforces the behavior that we're trying to curb.
So, while we were putting on shoes and getting ready to go to school, William pipes up
Sometimes, when we are playing the "girlfriends game" (that will have to be explained in another post) I tell the girls to back off! (Pause) But, Liam said that's a ugly word. Is back off a ugly word?
Well, I don't know if I would call it an ugly word, but it's not very polite.
(I mean, between that and the potty words and the "stupid" and "shut up," I'll take "back off." And, sometimes those girls do need to back off. Word).
But, Liam says it is a ugly word.
Who are you going to believe? Liam, or your mom?
I am going to believe Liam because he's my friend and he works at my school. (As do all of his classmates).
Well, there you have it. But, I think I'm going to have to side with Liam on this one, now that I think about it.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Birds and Bees
While bathing William once when Henry was about a year old...(and thus my pregnancy still "topical")
Mom, did you have Henry in your belly?
Yup. And you were in my belly, too.
That's so weird. But, how did we get out? (Easy question, since I had to have a c-section with each).
Well, I went to the hospital and had surgery. They used a special knife and cut a hole in my belly. Then, they pulled you out and sewed my belly back together.
Awesomeness. I got to tell the truth without having to mention genetalia. And then...
But how did we get in there? Is there a door or sumfin'?
Mom, did you have Henry in your belly?
Yup. And you were in my belly, too.
That's so weird. But, how did we get out? (Easy question, since I had to have a c-section with each).
Well, I went to the hospital and had surgery. They used a special knife and cut a hole in my belly. Then, they pulled you out and sewed my belly back together.
Awesomeness. I got to tell the truth without having to mention genetalia. And then...
But how did we get in there? Is there a door or sumfin'?
Call or Click Today!
I swear, he does say things that don't involve commercials. But, I can't think of any of them right now. A scene from this weekend:
Mom, you can order (insert product) if you're 18 or older!
Ok.
Boo (his 5 y/o cousin) could order it! She's not 18, but she is older!
Mom, you can order (insert product) if you're 18 or older!
Ok.
Boo (his 5 y/o cousin) could order it! She's not 18, but she is older!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
You won't spill your wine!
William is also very impressed by Tempur-Pedic. Hey may have mentioned the free dvd, but he was most impressed with the wine demonstration. Maybe it was seeing adults jumping on a bed. But, this is how the conversation went...
Mom! Look! (They all seem to start out this way). You can jump on the bed and you won't spill your wine!
That's really interesting, except I don't think that there will ever be a time when you will need to combine those two activities.
But, Mom. If you and Daddy were in your bed and you wanted to drink wine and then jump, you could.
Well, can't argue with that.
Mom! Look! (They all seem to start out this way). You can jump on the bed and you won't spill your wine!
That's really interesting, except I don't think that there will ever be a time when you will need to combine those two activities.
But, Mom. If you and Daddy were in your bed and you wanted to drink wine and then jump, you could.
Well, can't argue with that.
Just Like Henry Winkler...
Don't know why I kept my children's names secret in my first post but they are William and Henry. Like the princes, but not after them. William is the four year old, and by default Henry is the one year old.
William may watch a little too much t.v. Maybe he just pays too much attention when he does. He is a marketer's dream. Loves commercials. Wants to know everything about them. And I mean ALL commercials. Drug companies schilling medication? Check. (What's that medicine for? What kind of doctor is that? What kind of hospital is that? Is that for grown ups?)
And reverse mortgages. Apparently the Fonz is now schlepping reverse mortgages on t.v. All he had to do was offer a free dvd and William was hooked.
MOM! Look! You can get a FREE dvd!!!
I don't think you'd want that one, though. It's boring stuff.
Borin' stuff?
Yeah.
Who is that?
Henry Winkler.
Who is Henry Winkler?
He's an actor.
Oh.
And now every time that commercial comes on, William exclaims, "Mom! Look! It's Henry Winkler!" He's made an impression.
And every once in a while he'll add quietly, "Wish I was an actor. (Pause). Like Henry Winkler."
William may watch a little too much t.v. Maybe he just pays too much attention when he does. He is a marketer's dream. Loves commercials. Wants to know everything about them. And I mean ALL commercials. Drug companies schilling medication? Check. (What's that medicine for? What kind of doctor is that? What kind of hospital is that? Is that for grown ups?)
And reverse mortgages. Apparently the Fonz is now schlepping reverse mortgages on t.v. All he had to do was offer a free dvd and William was hooked.
MOM! Look! You can get a FREE dvd!!!
I don't think you'd want that one, though. It's boring stuff.
Borin' stuff?
Yeah.
Who is that?
Henry Winkler.
Who is Henry Winkler?
He's an actor.
Oh.
And now every time that commercial comes on, William exclaims, "Mom! Look! It's Henry Winkler!" He's made an impression.
And every once in a while he'll add quietly, "Wish I was an actor. (Pause). Like Henry Winkler."
In the Beginning...
So, I am starting my first blog. Since I have so much free time. Truth is, I am trying this in lieu of a baby book. I have a four year old and a one year old and I rarely write down anything. First tooth? Uh... First steps? Approximately 11 months (older) and 13 months (younger). First time crawling? Sitting up? Anyone's guess.
Mostly, though, it's to document the crazy funny stuff that my older son says. Hopefully the younger one will be funny, too. He doesn't say much right now.
But, William? He makes me laugh every day.
Mostly, though, it's to document the crazy funny stuff that my older son says. Hopefully the younger one will be funny, too. He doesn't say much right now.
But, William? He makes me laugh every day.
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