A Shining Parenting Moment

Or one that I can't believe that I'm even sharing.

I would ask you not to judge, but I know that you are.  And I am judging you for your judgment of me.  So there.

This one is on my little one, Henry.

Let me set up the scene for you.  It is in the morning.  We are running late.  I didn't even need that last sentence.  Mornings are almost always a mad rush, especially when I have to be at school by 7:45 for a meeting.  I have had a meeting every morning this week except for Monday.  Henry has been staying up late whether we put him to bed at a decent hour or not.  He will literally do head stands in the bed if he is not ready to sleep.  So, he gets to stay up until I think he may actually stay slightly still when I put him in bed.

I asked you not to judge.  And if you are at this point, hold on.   It gets much better.

So back to the mornings.  Since Henry has been going to bed later, he sleeps later.  I wake him at the last minute, rush him trough his bowl of cereal, slap on some clothes, and shove him (not literally, people) out the door.

Today, he didn't like the fact that I didn't let him take one of William's Lego toys along for the ride to daycare.  So he voiced his displeasure.

I no like you anymore.  I like Daddy the best.

I don't think I said anything in response.  Or I said something that did not live up to the response he expected so he went a little further:

I gonna punch you in da face.

What the (fill in any four letter word you like.  I probably thought all of them.) ??????

Surely, he didn't say what I thought he said, so I asked him again. And he replied, a little sheepishly

I gonna punch you in da face.

 I did NOT teach him that.  I really didn't know how to react.  I am not a spanker (don't judge, I tell you!)  I have my reasons and they're mine, but I couldn't help but swat that behind.  Through that diaper, though, it didn't have much of an impact (pun intended).  I was reeling for the correct course of action.  Time out?  Time out? Are you kidding me?  But, I really wasn't sure he knew what he was actually saying, just that it was bad.  So, I continued our get-out-the-door-in-the-morning routine while mumbling something about a "consequence" when he got home. As I am doing this, he's saying,

"Sorry, Mom.  I sorry."

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, Mister.

We're home for about 30 minutes when I remember the morning.  I am conflicted about following through with the consequence or all the research I've read that consequences for the very young are meaningless if they are not immediate because children will forget and then be confused when you give them such a delayed consequence.  (Did you get all that?)

So I decide to bring it up to see what he remembers.

Do you remember what you said to me this morning?

William:  I renember, Mom!  I renember what he said!

I am sure you do, but I want to see if Henry does.  Henry, what did you say to Mommy?

William:  He said,

William, I know that you know.  I want to hear from Henry.

Henry:  I said I punch you in da face.

Well, whaddya know?  He remembered.

You know you are going to have to go to time out. (DO NOT JUDGE).

I not punch you in da face.  I say nice things to you.

You still have to have a time out. 

No.  I not want to.

I say nice things.

I love you, Mommy.

I sorry.

You pretty, Mom.

Such a sweet little manipulative face.  This kid has been 3 years old for less than two weeks.

So I pick him up and promptly place him on his time out bench.  I have to admit that a little part of me is swayed by the sweet talk.  And then I hear

You're gonna get it, Mom!  You're gonna get it!

What am I raising??



I just had to know what he thought "punching in the face" meant, so I asked him.

Ummm...it mean bein' not nice?  It mean bein' not good?

Small victory.  This child is not imagining actually thrusting his fist into my face.  And since I can't let anything go, I asked William where he thinks Henry heard such a thing.

I never said it...in front of him.

Well, maybe I did say it in front of him.

0 for 2.